Random Quote


"Each night the hunchback came down the stairs with the air of one who has a grand opinion of himself. He always smelled slightly of turnip greens, as Miss Amelia rubbed him night and morning with pot liquor to give him strength."

---from "The Ballad of the Sad Cafe" by Carson McCullers

(fun with Google image search)



Are you bored with mindless summer activities? Do you long for excitement and adventure? Are you taller that 5’0” and have lots of extra cash?

Then come to Count Funkula’s Amusement Cottage and Foodstuffs Emporium!!!!
















Come to a lush garden setting and revel in the hundreds of thrills!*















Come ride our brand new power packed roller coaster “Agent 6 and the Banshees”
Guaranteed to make you scream!














Experience dreadful chills and terrible frights in our newly renovated “Haunted House: The Ride”















And of course there’s always our classics:

Duke of Funkington Roller Rink










Slippery Jane Log Ride












and Jolly Time Boat Trip (sponsored by Orville Redenbacher)








Of course we have fully equipped bathroom facilities for all your cleansing needs













And don’t forget about or moderately sized foodstuffs emporium!!













We have a great bulk foods section as well!. Buy your tampons in bulk and save!

So Come on down and spend your idle hours with us! We promise, we won't swindle you. too much.

All images copyrighted by Count Funkula 2000, all rights reserved
All persons admitted must be in good health and must sign waiver before entering. No one under 5’ tall allowed in. No pets, plants, outside food or dink, females, or children admitted.
*actual thrill count is 47

Falling Down and other redundant quips.

What to do, what to do? Should I take the job being offered to me at my current place of employment, or take my chances up north somewhere? I could take the job down here, it would look great on a resume and really give me the experience needed to get a good job somewhere else…but…I don’t really have any friends down here at the moment which kind of leaves me bored at home every weekend. Up north I have no job waiting for me, or any place to live for an extended period of time. There are, however, friends, which would make my weekends more interesting and therefore the rest of my week. Anyway, that’s about all that’s going on right about now. Well, there was this one thing about TAGSMS, but it’s kind of stupid. It seems a disgruntled nurse deliberately switched the medication to several patients, making the depressed even more down and the manics even more manic. This caused no small amount of irritation to the guards, doctors and staff at the sanatorium, because they had to deal with the aftermath. (The nurse took the next flight to Florida where authorities and a private group of sanatorium employees are tracking her down) To make a long story short, it was ten hours before things were returned to normal, although it seems that one of the affected inmates got down to the basement where 4782 is being held and it is not yet clear what, if anything, occurred. Everyone is back in their rooms and on their regular meds, which is great news to me and the board of directors. No one really knows why the nurse went all sabotage-y on the place, but I don’t really see how it matters anyway. You know what else? trying to write something with talking eyelashes, floating offices, and crumbling churches is really hard. who woulda thought?

ok, maybe there weren't any other redundant quips. but there is a comma crazy sentence!

Me. A Jello Shot. Halloween.