N is for None

Jerry was aked by another orderly if he had any extra keys to the medicine cabinet. Jerry said no, he had none. If fact he had no keys whatsoever. They had been taken away from him after it was found out that he was stealing pain pills to help with the discomfort of his broken arm. It was broken by a patient back in March.

M is for Mark

Glen looked through his binoculars and saw his mark, John Piller, across the street in the grocery store. John had finally crossed the one person he should have left alone.

L is for Love

Come on, Come on, Come on, get through it. Come on Come on Come on. Love's the greatest thing that we have.
--Blur

ok, i may be elitist, but i aint no prick, and it aint no act. :)

Elitist Prick.
You're the archetypical "more indie than thou" hipster. In fact, you're to hipsters what MTV is to the human race. First off, no one gives a shit if you were "totally into the Rapture before anyone else!" Second, loosen up, drop the pretension, ditch the act, and (for fuck's sake) run a damn comb through your hair.
You are the Elitist Prick. You're so consumed with
being on top of indie trends that you've
completely forgotten how to enjoy your once-
hipster status. It may be too late for you.



What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

K is for Khris

Khris always spelled his name with a K instead of a C. He was teased by his classmates without reprieve. When he could take it no longer, he convinced his family to move. They moved to Khris, New Mexico. Khris still got teased.

J is for Jungle

In 1912 there were reports that a ape-man was seen roaming the jungles of Brazil. No further sightings were repoted, although there have been many deaths of locals who believe it is the work of the ape-man.

I is for Internal

A doctor walked up to me and said that there were internal problems at the plant. I asked what plant, he repiled the ficus plant, and walked away. I dont think he was a real doctor.

H is for hate

Rodger D. of Greenview, Idaho hates water chesnuts. His sister choked on a chesnut while playing scrabble with Rodger one night after eating a whole turkey dinner with no mishaps.

:(

R.I.P. Elliott Smith

"Alameda"

You walk down alameda shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone
Like some precious only son
Face down, bow to the champion
You walk down alameda looking at the cracks in the sidewalk
Thinking about your friends
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense
For your own protection over their affection
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own because you can’t finish what you start
Walk down alameda brushing off the nightmare you wish
Could plague me when I’m awake
And now you see your first mistake was thinking that you could relate
For one or two minutes she liked you
But the fix is in
You’re all pretension
I never pay attention
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own because you can’t finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own because you can’t finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
You broke your own because you can’t finish what you start
Nobody broke your heart
If you’re alone it must be you that wants to be apart

*sidenote*
i changed a few things in my guestbook--i deleted the oldest entries, cause it was really getting too long and i also changed it so now people can enter html code in their guestbook entries. good times and happy tuesday!

G is for Grimm
Mary, mother of three, always read "Grimm's Fairy Tales" to her children before bed. They all grew up to be nurses.

F is for Forged

Janice W. forged ahead despite repeated warnings that failure was imminent . She was laid to rest in the Cemetary of Completion in Harleson N.H.

E is for erratic

Due to his strange and erratic behavior, George K. was put into a mental hospital for his own safety. His cell was exactly one floor above the cell of patient 4782.

D is for Dank

The cellar was dark and dank, but Mary was not afraid. She had spent long hours here when her parents fought.

C is for Castle

While sitting alone in his castle, Jim P. - originaly of Springhampton, NJ- had time to make many sock puppets, including one that looked like Marilyn Monroe.

B is for Ballot

i got my vote on. did you?

Here we go again:

A is for Author

what? oh.

http://www.rathergood.com/buffy/

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

the wierdest thing just happened, i was walking out of my "history of the english language" class and i ran into matt, an old sorta friend from the UA theater. he was another manager, promoted at the same time as me, but he quit a few months before i did. he said after he quit he moved up here and had been up here for about the same amount of time as me. surprisingly, i had never seen him untill now. well not really, a few days ago when i was making a delivery to Founders Hall (this big building on the top of this steep hill) i saw someone who looked a lot like him, but i thought, nah, it couldnt be him, that would be too wierd. but it WAS him. too wierd. so yeah....small world.

well i just finished this book, called "Mad Ship" its the second book in a trilogy. the first book was "ship of magic" and the last book, which i intend to start reading soon, is called "ship of destiny". the books are by fantasy author robin hobb. and although these books are fantasy, they felt more like jane austen novels with fantasy elements. i swear, for books with "ship" in the title, there is realitively little about sailing. and all three books are almost 900 pages each, so with classes and all, it tok me about a week and a half to finish the second one. overall they're pretty good, it takes a while to get into them, but once they get going, the are very interesting and well written. Im reading these books because ive read other books by hobb. her "farseer trilogy" (assassin's quest, ect...) was published a while back and i read them and liked them a lot. these "ship" books were published next (they are called "the liveship traders" trilogy), but i didnt read them when they first came out, even thought they take place in the same world (but different characters) as the farseer trilogy. Just recently she started publishing a new trilogy("the tawny man" trilogy)with the same characters as the farseer trilogy (two have been published so far, the third in spring) and while reading them, i found out that all the characters and events that occur in all three trilogys (farseer, liveship trader and tawny man) are sort of interlinked and share a few characters, and events in one effect another, so i decided to read the tilogy that i skipped, so that my friends, if you could follow it, is why im reading these books now. and i must say, reading the books sheds new light onto some events in later books, and i am enjoying them as seperate books and also as a part of the larger story. siiigh, so thats all for now. good times for all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KC!! guess who's FINALLY 21? why its kc! who knew? dont go getting too drunk now. hahaha........siiiigh.......good times

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERESA!!!!!!!!!! da da dada da dada da- quack quack! Good times for all! and remember "violeta is your cousin." haha

It was cold today. In the mid-fifties all day.

HAPPY B-DAY CHERYL! it is your birthday right?. If it isnt, who cares, have a party anyway. :)
p.s. christine doesnt tell me what to do, I'm my own man. (said in a man-like tone)
i hope you have a good day!

cheryl and her crazy guestbook entries..what would i do without them? :) So anyway, had my first day at work. it went well. the shifts are only two hours long, which is nice considering im used to nine hour shifts. school starts on monday. i'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. i hate having to go to school..why cant i just know everything? oh wait..i do. hahahahahaha siiiiigh. who NEEDS to party. who?

I just got a job :) with the media distribution center. I'm gonna be delivering media stuff around campus. they said they could give me 7-10 hours a week, but i hope its more like 15. oh well.

Heroin And Cocaine
by The Tiger Lillies

Jimmy was just coming out of school
When the drug-dealer came
Give me some of that heroin
Some of that cocaine

Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine

Jimmy's teacher was very annoyed
He gave Jimmy the cane
He shared his syringe with a class full of boys
Now they all want the same

Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine

Jimmy's turn to die
But please don't you cry
Because Jimmy is in heaven with his drugs
And the angels all try

Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine
Heroin, heroin and cocaine

October 12, 2006

It has been raining steadily at The Anthony G. Saldana Memorial Sanatorium for the past few days now. A gloom has settled over the workers and they go about their jobs with a blank expression and quiet steps. The rain seems to have had the opposite effect on patient #4782, who for the past 6 hours, has been screaming at the top of his lungs and banging on the door. Patient 4782 is kept in a small padded room at the end of a long hallyway far away from the other patients, so the disturbance has not spread, however many employees refuse to walk by his cell. They say that they do not feel safe, despite the six inch thick door. Admittedly, i do feel uneasy when my daily rounds take me to that place, but i am sure that i am only responding to the horrific nature of 4782's past crimes and not the current situation. I know he is safely locked away, and i know he does not pose a threat. Still, i wish it would stop raining.

On a different note, i have been trying to contact Mr. Saldana in order to schedule our next meeting, but he has not been reachable. Considering the importance of his next visit, i find this very strange.

I've said it once and I'll say it again: yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

cheryl writes such great crazyness in my guest book. others do too, but mostly cheryl. who gets great crazy guestbook entry award?(and this is a good thing).. Christine???? Caroline??? Teresa????? me????? no!!! its cheryl! la de da de da de da de da, la de da , la de da..................

I am SO done with summer school. It's not even funny. I'd better get A's in both my classes too, 'cause if i don't.............(said in threating voice)

the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and...oh hell..... sorry, i just dont have much to post these days. come back later. im sure an outpouring of writing is on its way.......

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

The fifth level of hell huh. damn im evil.

and now a little snipet from a poem by Simon Armitage entitled "I Say I Say I Say"

Come clean, come good,
repeat with me the punch line ‘Just like blood’
when those at the back rush forward to say
how a little love goes a long long long way.

If you wanna read the whole thing
(its ok, but personally i just really like the end bit that i quoted above), click HERE

Some days, when I'm bored (which is most days) i walk down the street muttering to myself : why lord? lord..................................................why? whylord,................. lordwhy ...................................why? lord. Some people think this is strange and stop to ask if i'm ok. i say: its none of youre damn business if im ok, youre not my goddamn nanny are you? then i proceed to beat them to a bloddy pulp because they invaded my personal space. So as they crawl away, bleeding and broken, i step over them (or on them more often than not) and continue on my way. Most of the time i end up at the gas station where i contemplate throwing a torch down into the gas holding tank and blowing the whole whore-ish gas station up. The station really is whore-ish. last night i saw several skanky looking people go in and out of it just for the heck of it. now if thats not whore-ish i dont know what is but i do know what is so it is whore-ish and you can take that to the bank but not the bank on the corner cause that's the gas station's pimp. (gasps for breath) wow that was a long sentence. good times. lordwhy? anyway, ive been sitting here hear hair for two too to long and my ass is starting to hurt, so i shall bid you all fairwell. execpt for you, yeah you. i dont like you, so i dont bid you fairwell, i bid you fairbad. bye good. wait......strike that, reverse it. better. good day. I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!

ho humm...nothing going on. bought groceries..i have $15 a week to spend on food and i spent $14.75 this week. yeah! i got .25 cents. wooo. partay. but anyway, its kinda cold up here. it feels like winter in southern california, so i keep expecting to see christmas commercials on tv. i could see two fireworks displays from my apartment last night. that was cool, kinda. im thinking of changing my name to blackalicious. what do ya think? true, i am not black, or alicious, but who cares in this crazy mixed nut world (i was gonna say "mixed UP world" but i was just thinking about cashews so i said mixed nuts.) i finished "lord of the rings" and i have to say that the last 100 or so pages were better than the whole book. i should have skipped everything and just read the end, cause to be honest the rest was really boring. so thats about it for now.........stay tuned..same TAGSMS time, same TAGSMS channel..............

So i went to the bookstore today to buy my books for my summer classes that start on Monday. They didnt have the books. I was sad. I have nothing else to do today. I already paid my bills and put them in tha mail, the $600 check from my grandmother hasnt cleared yet so i cant go buy groceries, and there's nothing on tv. Sad Anthony, Bored Anthony.

There once was a man who would think of football durring sex so he could last longer. But then, after a few months of doing this, he found that he became sexually excited every time he watched football.

Ray decided one day to change his morals. Not in any significant way really, but more of a lateral sort of move that would take his life and his beliefs away from being centered around faith and more towards being based on human life. One could say that this change had come on suddenly, and surely Ray's neighbors never saw this coming, but to Ray himself, it had been a long time in the making. When his mother died, Ray had gone to the funeral like everyone else (what would people say if he didn't attend his own mother's services?) but the words of the preacher held no power over him anymore, and as he sat in the pew listening, he began to wonder why he had spent his life trying to emulate someone who wasn't even human, at least not really. Could the son of a god be human? Ray doubted it. So this began the rusty wheels in his head (Ray had not had a great think in quite some time). The days passed and Ray sat alone in his House drinking iced tea and reading the various rules that had, untill now, guided him along the path to supposed bliss. Slowly, and carefully, Ray decided that his morals, or rather the way they were worded (sematics were of great importance to Ray), were not based on human experience, but rather an imagined human experience in which the correct path was always clear and always chosen. It was then that Ray decided to change his morals. not in any significant way really, but more of a lateral move that would take his life and his beliefs away from being centered around a impossible standard, and towards one that Ray felt was more attainable. Much happier with himself now, Ray rid his house of all mementos of his former life and beagn anew, with the hope of a bright future.

THE TULSE LUPER NETWORK

follow the link and discover the greatness.

sorry there havent been any updates lately, im in s. cali now, so i dont have as much free time or as much bordem (bordum, bordom?, whatever) my little brothers keep me busy. oh and......a fourteen year old boy? sorry, i dont know any. but if i did, then id send him.

seriously, what do you do with a drunken sailor? there's one at my apartment and he wont leave.

what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor early in the mornin' ?

i dont know what happened to my archives. sometimes they just dissapear........like some kinda ghost blog thing..that disapears...or something. yeah

dont be a baby, just kill the bear already!

I hope you all enjoyed the alphabet, i know it took a while for me to go through it all, but i was busy with school. haha yeah right, ok the real reason is that im really lazy. sorry.

Z
is for Zero

Y
is for You

X
is for Xena

W
is for Walking

V
is for Ven are you coming home?

U
is for Urinetown

T
is for Tally

S
is for Sanatorium

R
is for Run

Q
is for Q

P
is for Practice makes Perfect, said Paul.

O
is for Operation

N
is for Nubile

M
is for Mother

L
is for Laceration

K
is for Karma

J
is for Jugular

I
is for Intrinsic

H
is for Humanistic

G
is for Greatness

F
is for Fornication

E
is for Entry

D
is for Diaspora

C
is for Calamity

B
is for Barricade

The Anthony G. Saldana Memorial Sanatorium
Presents: The Alphabet

A
is for Automatic

ok, it was sketchy there for a while, but im ok now. no longer dead. thats good. anyway, well see what the people in my creative writting class think of "harold in numbers (1-10)" they peobably wont like it, but hey, thats their problem. thats all for now. war out. ( get it? its not PEACE out, its WAR out...cause we're at war now. funny huh? yeah..........)

Harold in Numbers (1-10)

One.
One is staring at me from across the table, he turns and looks at
Two.
Two is entering through every door and doesn’t close them. A draft is coming in, along with
Three.
Three is around somewhere but I can’t see but I can feel and I can feel
Four.
Four is coming around a corner is peeking around a corner is trying to catch a glimpse a view of
Five.
Five is chasing six but six has already caught up with seven and together with eight they will try and make a stand to defend against nine but nine is already in me and is seeing out through my eyes even though I can’t nine sees
Ten.
Ten is stealing my memory.

THE PERSON WHO MAINTAINED THIS BLOG HAS DIED.
GO AWAY

I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL THE GODDAMN POT JOKES!!

In my creative writing class, we’ve moved onto poetry and today the class critiqued my first poem. It was “Mechanical Fruit” to refresh your memory, here it is:

MECHANICAL FRUIT

What a sight it was
to see an orange with metal legs
run all around.
It ran up the walls
and onto the ceiling.
It scurried across the floor with incredible speed.
You said you invented it
to keep you company,
although I don’t know how well that will work,
because it’s just an orange.

So now, because I can and because my ego demands it, I thought I’d share what some people said about my poem. (I am not kidding, these are the actual things people wrote down and gave to me as part of the critique process)
1. I’m not sure what this poem is talking about…
2. This poem fucking rocks.
3. Is this a metaphor? I just didn’t get it.
4. It made me smile but it also has a lot of meaning and power to it. Brilliant!
5. Awesome!
6. I very much get the sense of someone alone in a dark room.
7. I like the set up, and the use of the orange to show the futile need of the inventor.
8. Interesting concept, but it feels too dry and straightforward to be poetry. I would use more metaphor. Good luck.
9. It’s fascinating
10. (this is what my teacher wrote): You have a talent for transposing real events and feelings into surreal terms – then pulling them away to reveal “just an orange,” and the real issue of what will keep this person company. It’s a strange and surprising trick – keep doing it.

not to be outdone, jared the monkey secretly plants itching powder in curious georges' underpants.

so i'm 21 now. yay. now i can drink alcoholic drinks. yay. i feel so special. no i don't. damn

The Sanatorium presents a Poem written in conjunction with Saldana Comma Teresa G.

Inner Aardvark

One day
You buy boba drink.
Give you happy smile.
You choke on boba goodness
DEATH!!!

nobody writes in my guestbook anymore. it makes me cry. it hursts me deep down inside....where im soft....(say it with me now) like a woman.

ok, i thought i would take a break from the TAGSMS wierdness to post this.

Anthony's Ten Movies You HAVE to see (or else).
seriously, these movies will improve your health and your wealth, not to mention make you a better person for seeing them.

10. Fargo. great script, and in my opinion, this has one of the best characters in film- Marge Gunderson
9. Alien. Not only the best horror film, but also the best suspense thriller/sci-fi movie. that alien is the best designed creature in the WORLD.
8. Mulholland Drive. David Lynch's other films suck. this one is yummy wierd creepy goodness.
7. The Cook The Thief His Wife and her Lover. What can i say. there never was a more beautifuly shot film. well...maybe #1. the ending is perfect. a little disturbing, but perfect for the movie.
6. Cutthroat Island. good action fun. great production value too. incredible score.
5. Last Year at Marienbad. all i can say is: Whaaaa???. french surrealism, you gotta love it.
4. La Femme Nikita. cool movie, cool tv show. luc besson at his best.
3. American Beauty. it won oscars.
2.The Nightmare Before Christmas. You know its good. Just admit it.
1. The Draughtsman's Contract. seriously, what did you expect me to put at #1? i mean c'mon. this is the single best film EVER made in the world. i could watch it all day. but i dont. so many good things, but the script is in a class of its own. incerdible word play in this movie. The original version was over four hours long, but it was cut down to about 1hr. 45min. before it was ever released. i would kill to see the four hour version. KILL. this is the only movie ive watched that kept me stunned with its absolute perfectness. ladies and gentle-sirs, it is simply GENIUS.

humm.....strange goings on at TAGSMS. maybe i should visit. or not. im pretty busy with school. let them figure it out. but since the place is named after me, i do feel a sense of responsibility......

Internal Memo From TAGSMS #2

To: Dr. Roberts
From: Dr. Fieldman
CC: Dr. Fieldman, Dr. Lantern, Dr.Woolright.
Subject: Re: Patient #4782

Dr. Roberts,
Concerning the continuing medication of # 4782, I feel that it is in the best interests, of this medical facility and the patient that we cease with the current medication stage and return to normal drug dosage. Unfortunately, Dr. Lantern’s experiment has shown no signs of improving 4782’s health and indeed, from your own observations, has made things worse. To continue under the current circumstances would benefit no one. As for your request for a visit to the main complex, because the experiment is as of now no longer active, I see no reason for my presence. (On a side note, I am sorry to hear of Jerry’s injury. Please send my regards to him and his family.) So For now, my doctors, I consider this matter closed.

---Dr. Fieldman

The orderly named Jerry has taken two weeks off because he had his arm broken by patient # 4782. His shifts will be covered by Jane S. and Glen F.

Internal memo from TAGSMS

To: Dr.Fieldman
From: Dr. Roberts
CC: Dr.Roberts, Dr.Woolright, Dr.Lantern.
Subject: Patient # 4782

Dr. Fieldman,
Patient 4782 has not shown signs of improvement since the implement of stage 2 medication. Outbusrts and violent spasms are still common. The orderlies have trouble restaining him durring mealtimes and the scheduled tests. The other patients in the vicinity of 4782's cell are becoming agitated and irritable. Relocation is recomended. I also recomend that you come to the main complex to oversee the adjustment in the current medication process. Be assured that changes ARE needed. Thank you for giving this situation your immediate attention.
--Dr. John Roberts

Posting seen on the kitchen wall at TAGSMS :

Attention all cafeteria staff and personnel: Due to the popularity of Oatmeal Sundays, starting Oct.20th, inmates and visitors will be given the option to have oatmeal on Wed. mornings as well. Regular serving restrictions apply. Thank you.
----Management

so back at The Anthony G. Saldana Memorial Sanatorium (TAGSMS), the janitors are refusing to clean up all the vomit. damn unions. Its their jobs, for crying out loud! what did they expect, robots?? seriously, they are out of line. I told them that i wouldnt negotiate, but now they're threatening to strike. well i say to hell with them! I'll..............I'll...........I'll build those robots! yes. robot janitors. then i can fire their asses. whohahahahahha. Excellent.

im tired

its spring break! yea! i get to......................do...the..same..old thing...damn.

taking a spin through the neighborhood the neighbors scream 'what ya talking bout?' cause they dont know how to let you in and i dont know how to let you out. --E

the lantern

a poem by the anthony g. saldana memorial sanatorium

a lantern sits
atop the television.
i see it everyday
but use it less.
(i have no candles)
It reminds me
of my friends back home.
and of lanterns
cause its a lantern,
and it makes me think of other lanterns
thats why
it reminds me of lanterns.
but this is getting out of
hand
now. so id better
go.

check out the link on the left to my online photo album :)

i dont deserve the cool friends i have. :) (yes im talking about you guys in s. cali)

ok, whoever put the link to homestarrunner.com in the questbook is my best friend EVER. that stuff is FUCKING HILARIOUS. i dont know why its there, but its damn funny.

god help the stupid people. cause there's no way in hell that i will.

so maybe i was wrong about radiohead.............................

"the panic...
the vomit..
the panic..
the vomit.."

This is an exercise we had to do for my creative writing class on dialoge. we had to have two people speaking to one another, both with a secret that they're not telling the other one, and the secret can only be revealed in the title. anyway, its not that great, but i havent updated my blog in a while and this is the only thing i could think of to put up here.

MARIA HAD POISENED HAROLD’S FOOD, AND HE KNOWS IT
“Here it comes!” Maria Carried the try of roast pig from the swinging kitchen door to the table and set it in front of Harold. “Just how you like it, honey, with a light glaze of brown sugar.”
“Mmmm……” Harold stuck his nose in the rising steam and took a long, good, whiff. “Smells delicious Maria, would you like me to cut you the first piece?” Harold raised the long knife and held it over the pig.
“Oh no, no no, it’s for you honey, I wouldn’t dream of taking the first bites. The honor should go to you, after all, you deserve it.”
“Is that so?” Harold said quietly. “Well then,” he said, addressing Maria, “I guess I’d better get to it.”
Harold thrust the knife into the hind quarters of the cooked pig, and ran the sharpened edge all the way down to the silver platter resting beneath. Then, with a large fork in one hand and the knife in the other, Harold gently lifted the slab of mean onto his plate, resting it between the mashed potatoes and the green beans. He cut a small piece with his fork and lifted it to his mouth. Maria had been following the movements of the ham intently with her eyes, and when Harold suddenly dropped his fork, she nearly jumped from her seat.
“You know, Maria, I think we should have a toast first, whatya say?”
“It’s a lovely idea, but we wouldn’t want the meat to get cold, go ahead, try it and tell me what you think.”
“All right.” Harold slowly lifted the food to his mouth, watching Maria’s eyes trace the movement.
“No, I think a toast…”
“Oh come on already!” Maria suddenly interrupted.
Harold’s eyes narrowed with a suspicious glance. “What’s the matter honey?”
“Oh, nothing,” Maria said sighing, “go on with your toast.”

so today was the day that the people in my creative writing class critiqued my short story i turned in on mon. they all said they really liked it, and they all said they 'didnt get it'. i think thats a good sign. dont you?

Harold. (A way to understand the world)

A poem by The Anthony G. Saldana Memorial Sanatorium

Birds
1. The one outside my window
2. The one that makes the sound "Clack Clack"
3. The one with wings that go so fast.
4. The old one that is no longer around.
5. The red one with the sweet song.
6. The dead one my cat brought in.
Houses
1. White with a picket fence, a dog, and a mother.
2. White with a picket fence, a dog and a crying baby.
3. White with a picket fence, a cat, and a single man.
4. White with a picket fence and a small girl in the front jumping rope.
5. White with no fence
6. White with red trim and a badly kept yard.
7. Blue, like the sky on a good day.
Smiles
1. Wide, and full of joy.
2. Small, with laughter.
3. Forced.
4. Sly, and suspicious.
5. No smile.
Today's tasks
1. Finish the floor.
2. Start the walls.
3. Add a secret place.
4. Join in a game.
5. Lie
6. Maintain an acceptable amount of friends.
7. Ask Jean why she is so sad.
8. And back to the beginning.

there is meaning behind misspellings and missed punctuation marks.never question an artist. BITCH. i do what i want. you dont know me.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

mamma said there would be days like this. you know, days when you are attacked by bunches of monkies who sing "new york, new york" while they beat you sensless.

(my mamma was crazy)

Ok, so today in writing class, our teacher was talking about all these poets who wrote anti war poems blah blah blah. So he asked us to write a poem about how we feel about the war. After about ten min or so, he asked if anybody wanted to read thier peoms, and of course the stuck up pretentious people did. All thier poems were alike. "oh horrible destruction" this and "oh broken soul" that. anyway, for what its worth heres thge poem i wrote. it may be pretentious and crappy like the rest of them, but i wrote it and that makes it special. i call it...."Poem."

So we're going to Iraq
'cause Bush don't give no slack
Nothing much i can do,
'cept sit here and moo.
Though mooing probably wont help,
and nither would gathering lots of kelp.
I'd probably just annoy everyone,
and they would tell me to stop.

and since i was in a poetry mood, i wrote another poem, but it doesnt have anything to do with the war.

MECHANICAL FRUIT

What a sight it was
to see an orange
with mechanical legs
run all around.
It ran up the walls
and onto the cealing.
It scurried across the floor
with incredible speed.
You said you invented it
to keep you company,
although i dont know
how well it will work
cause its just an orange.

An AIM conversation between ME and a Friend (CARO)

ME: caro?
CARO: antlers?
ME: they're not very big right now. just had them trimmed
CARO: mm, i'm thinking of perming mine
ME: yes. nice long curly antlers
CARO: i try to look my best i do
ME: and you should. how else do you expect to attract strong young bucks?
CARO: *L* that's right, i met a cute one yesterday over by the river lakes. his name was Star
ME: lol. what a cute name, i bet he's "simple"
CARO: he's a star buck, get it?
CARO: hrhr
ME: ohhhhh. haha. see, im really too stupid to really know what im talking about. so i pretend and hope the person im talking to doesnt know more than me, but you do and you have brought shame upon me and my family
ME: so i have to kill you know
ME: know=now
CARO: ack!
CARO: *runs to the nearest Office Depot*
ME: ok, ill let you live, but just this once
ME: lol. office depot??
CARO: it's the safest place to run if you don't have a gun
ME: umm...ok
CARO: you can use one, a stapler gun
*from office depot
ME: ic. it all becomes clear....
ME: so why you up so late?
CARO: paper :-(
ME: ugggh. that sucks. im up late cause im SO bored i cant even sleep. how lame is that
ME: really, im asking, how lame is it?
CARO: it's as lame as my having a pimple on my neck
CARO: i do, it's annoying
CARO: arRghhhhhh, i wish that pimple would just go away. GO AWAY PIMPLE! WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND HERE IN THESE PARTS!
ME: lol. thats right. get all bigot on its ass
CARO: LOL yes, all bigotlike
ME: right on. tell it, its children will be bastards in the eyes of god
CARO: in the eyes of our godS
ME: right. the gods of [insert religon here]
CARO: i think you should add this conversation in a diary entry
ME: i was just thinking that
CARO: except hide my last name and stuff
ME: wiiiiiierd
CARO: wooooOOOOOooooooo
CARO: that is odd
ME: no, ill give out your number, address and where you like to hang out
ME: HA!
CARO: pls. tell them that i like getting electrocuted as well

Guuuuuuuuuuurl! Where you at?

I spoke to one of the drones today. He said it was nice. I didn't believe him.

Woman In a Resturant

They're staring, they're judging. They shouldn't. They don't know about me, they don't know what I've had to put up with. I can feel their eyes on me, scanning me up and down, searching for a weakness to exploit. They wont find it though, no. I've learned to hide myself, hide my shortcomings. That's perhaps the one good thing he taught me, how to hide, how to cover up defects. If a weakness would show, I knew he would go after it, sooner or later. So I hide them, bury them, until only I know where they are. These people won't find them, they can't. They can sit at their tables, enjoy their food, use their fancy silver knives and forks, but they can't reach me. They can't get to me. Not even the waitress, who asks me what I want to drink. She'd like to ask me more questions I'm sure, she'd like to dig in and find where I'm hiding myself, but I wont let her. I could duck under the round table, I could climb into the wood rafters on the ceiling. There are many places I could go to escape her and her questions. I could go to the rest room, I remember them from the last time I was here. I remember they were nice. Stainless steel fauces, bright shiny blue tile floors. The spotless clean walls. I remember it was soothing, being in there. It was a nice break, and I didn't want to go back out and sit with him, and eat with him, and talk with him. I think we were sitting at the table by the window, where that old couple is sitting now. Yes, I remember it because I remember the view. Such large windows, floor to ceiling. I could get lost staring out of them. But now that inquisitive waitress is back, and now she wants to know what I want to eat. I can pick anything I want from the menu, my choosing. Such a new thing to me. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I see the advantages to eating alone. I should tell her something fast so she'll go away. I'll have the Linguini with clams. Clams. They're supposed to be an aphrodisiac. That makes me laugh. Perhaps that's why he wouldn't let me eat them. Well, I can eat them now.

one wonders about the state of affairs.

got a hole in my head
always lets good stuff out
always lets bad stuff in
cant do anything about it
cause it in the back of my head
and i cant reach it

all this welled up anger can't be good for my blood pressure.

i have a guest book now. please sign. NOW!

Cloud Cover

All y'all hoes. ALL Y'ALL!!!

If I could fly, i would never land.

'cause people on the ground totally SUCK.

I've started walking to the store instead of driving. Mainly because i want to save on gas, but also because i feel like my car is going to completely break down any day now. Yesterday, on my way to the store, I saw an old woman sitting on the sidewalk near the Arcata Coin- Op Laundry. She was wearing brown pants, with a hole on the left leg just below the knee. She had a red coat that was obviously decades old. I gave her a cookie. I am so generous. I am Jesus.

They say there is a way to set up a comments page for my blog. i tried. it didnt work.

What I Like: A Love Poem By The Anthony G. Saldana Memorial Sanatorium

I like
New York in 1900
Los Angeles in the Fifties,
London in 1965
and you,
right now.

Needle Eyes

Henry walked over to the wall and pressed his hand against the cool smooth surface. Tracing lines with his fingers he drew the picture in his mind, the one of the thousands of people with needles for eyes. They were always screaming to him, or for him, he could never tell which. Screaming, screaming. He could never hear them clearly enough, always something muffling them, covering them. One thing was for sure though, they were in need. Their cries were those of the desperate sort. Henry took a step back from the wall to admire his work. He saw with his eye, a non needled eye, his beautiful work of art. He wanted to call the others over and proudly display his accomplishment, but he knew what they would say. They never saw anything, nothing. At least that’s what they always said. Taunt him and call him names is all they would do. No matter, they’d probably all end up like the needle eyed people anyway, always wanting, never getting, never getting. He’d seen it happen before. To his family. They used to call him names and tell him he was dumb. But now they were there with the others in his mind, and now, on the wall. He could just make out his mother’s face, mouth open, joining in the cries. His father was next to her, holding up his little sister, both with their needle eyes pointing up to the sky, mouths agape, waiting, always waiting, waiting. What for? Don’t know. Always waiting. Henry was waiting now to. Waiting for his time outside. Soon they would come, open his door and let him into the grassy area. Only for a few minutes though. It would sunny and bright, bright. Then he would be back inside, and perhaps he would draw another picture from his mind.

hummm....i smell cookies. i like the smell of cookies. it reminds me of my childhood in the swamps of Kentucky. Me and my sister Jojo would go out every night and try to catch fireflies. Whatever we caught we would bring home and mom would make cookies out of them. yumm......

sigh....good times......

me love you long time!!

no. only till mid march, thank you.

gettin tired of you bringing me down.

I am a clown.

When you get down, and you feel like no one cares about you, just remember, you are right. no one cares about you. why you ask? well its beacause youre a terrible person. When you were born the devil laughed with delight, for he knew you would spread sadness and destruction wherever you went. I saw you, last year, when you tripped that nice lady on the sidewalk. she was carrying a bag full of eggs and milk. while pushing a stroller.(wont someone please think of the children?) A few months ago i read in the newspaper how you tricked that old man into giving you all his savings. he was going to give it to his daughter, so she could pay for the life saving surgery for her son. you bastard. Then , just last week you spilled fruit punch on my Aunt's nice new white dress at her own birthday party. Then, a few days later, you borrowed my stereo and proceeded to throw it off your third story balcony. (you say you were drunk and on drugs, but im sorry thats just not a good enough excuse). Those things you did to other people were bad, but to mess with my family and my stuff, well!

so while you sit there feeling terrible about youreslf, remember, you deserve it, and alot more. Damn you. Damn you to hell.

yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

my car broke down. DAMNED INFERNAL THING! my it rot in hell. hell hell rot rot rot hell rot rohell. the end

okok, so i know that i havent updated my blog for a while but i have a valid excuse. Im lazy. REALLY REALLY lazy. its quite disgusting really. but its me, so oh well. Right now im back home in southern california. and its really hot, like its summer or something. its not natural. but then again, not many things in southern californa are, so..............

vive la bibliotech!