Butternut Squash Soup.


Hello, my name is Debby, and today I’ll be teaching you all how to make Butternut Squash Soup. This soup is a wonderful dish for the transition from summer to fall, and can be served anytime from late august to early October. If you decide to serve this soup in November however, you may experience the scorn and ridicule of your lady friends as they realize you’re nothing but a poser and fake trying in vain to keep up the appearance that you have a happy life with no marital problems whatsoever. None! Whatsoever! Plus the fact that you’re serving the soup a month late. (Bigger faux pas than wearing white shoes after Labor Day!) Step one: buy butternut squash soup from Trader Joe’s. Step two: Heat soup and serve. Try and resist the temptation to add various cleaning products to the soup, for as they might provide immediate relief to the constant whining, belching, farting, scratching, non-money earning, gambling, and drinking activities of your good for nothing husband, in the long run it could lead to prison and the unwanted affections of a large woman named “Wedge.” While the soup is heating, you might try and get some needle point done, or, if it is needed, some light dusting. Personally, I prefer to hunt. Currently there is a large family of bunnies living in one of my hedges. I have been able to kill quite a few of the bunny siblings, however the mother and father bunny are much harder to catch. I spotted the mother one, scurrying across my lawn with some greens clutched in her mouth, no doubt for her hungry babies at home. I quickly reached for my gun (I always keep it loaded and ready right next to the microwave), and I was able to squeeze off a few shots, but unfortunately the bunny was too quick and got away. To make matters worse, one of my bullets somehow found its way into the skull of my next door neighbor. The police were very nice and understanding, although I did have to tell a tiny lie, and also leave out the part about how my neighbor and I had been feuding for some time now over his daughter’s strangely close relationship to my husband. His daughter also happened to be outside at the time, but somehow escaped unharmed. Well done dear! I suppose that is all for now, I trust you’ll find your own special way to make Butternut Squash Soup a staple with your family for years to come, and so I wish you good luck and happy hunting!