In my creative writing class, we’ve moved onto poetry and today the class critiqued my first poem. It was “Mechanical Fruit” to refresh your memory, here it is:

MECHANICAL FRUIT

What a sight it was
to see an orange with metal legs
run all around.
It ran up the walls
and onto the ceiling.
It scurried across the floor with incredible speed.
You said you invented it
to keep you company,
although I don’t know how well that will work,
because it’s just an orange.

So now, because I can and because my ego demands it, I thought I’d share what some people said about my poem. (I am not kidding, these are the actual things people wrote down and gave to me as part of the critique process)
1. I’m not sure what this poem is talking about…
2. This poem fucking rocks.
3. Is this a metaphor? I just didn’t get it.
4. It made me smile but it also has a lot of meaning and power to it. Brilliant!
5. Awesome!
6. I very much get the sense of someone alone in a dark room.
7. I like the set up, and the use of the orange to show the futile need of the inventor.
8. Interesting concept, but it feels too dry and straightforward to be poetry. I would use more metaphor. Good luck.
9. It’s fascinating
10. (this is what my teacher wrote): You have a talent for transposing real events and feelings into surreal terms – then pulling them away to reveal “just an orange,” and the real issue of what will keep this person company. It’s a strange and surprising trick – keep doing it.

not to be outdone, jared the monkey secretly plants itching powder in curious georges' underpants.

so i'm 21 now. yay. now i can drink alcoholic drinks. yay. i feel so special. no i don't. damn

The Sanatorium presents a Poem written in conjunction with Saldana Comma Teresa G.

Inner Aardvark

One day
You buy boba drink.
Give you happy smile.
You choke on boba goodness
DEATH!!!

nobody writes in my guestbook anymore. it makes me cry. it hursts me deep down inside....where im soft....(say it with me now) like a woman.

ok, i thought i would take a break from the TAGSMS wierdness to post this.

Anthony's Ten Movies You HAVE to see (or else).
seriously, these movies will improve your health and your wealth, not to mention make you a better person for seeing them.

10. Fargo. great script, and in my opinion, this has one of the best characters in film- Marge Gunderson
9. Alien. Not only the best horror film, but also the best suspense thriller/sci-fi movie. that alien is the best designed creature in the WORLD.
8. Mulholland Drive. David Lynch's other films suck. this one is yummy wierd creepy goodness.
7. The Cook The Thief His Wife and her Lover. What can i say. there never was a more beautifuly shot film. well...maybe #1. the ending is perfect. a little disturbing, but perfect for the movie.
6. Cutthroat Island. good action fun. great production value too. incredible score.
5. Last Year at Marienbad. all i can say is: Whaaaa???. french surrealism, you gotta love it.
4. La Femme Nikita. cool movie, cool tv show. luc besson at his best.
3. American Beauty. it won oscars.
2.The Nightmare Before Christmas. You know its good. Just admit it.
1. The Draughtsman's Contract. seriously, what did you expect me to put at #1? i mean c'mon. this is the single best film EVER made in the world. i could watch it all day. but i dont. so many good things, but the script is in a class of its own. incerdible word play in this movie. The original version was over four hours long, but it was cut down to about 1hr. 45min. before it was ever released. i would kill to see the four hour version. KILL. this is the only movie ive watched that kept me stunned with its absolute perfectness. ladies and gentle-sirs, it is simply GENIUS.

humm.....strange goings on at TAGSMS. maybe i should visit. or not. im pretty busy with school. let them figure it out. but since the place is named after me, i do feel a sense of responsibility......

Internal Memo From TAGSMS #2

To: Dr. Roberts
From: Dr. Fieldman
CC: Dr. Fieldman, Dr. Lantern, Dr.Woolright.
Subject: Re: Patient #4782

Dr. Roberts,
Concerning the continuing medication of # 4782, I feel that it is in the best interests, of this medical facility and the patient that we cease with the current medication stage and return to normal drug dosage. Unfortunately, Dr. Lantern’s experiment has shown no signs of improving 4782’s health and indeed, from your own observations, has made things worse. To continue under the current circumstances would benefit no one. As for your request for a visit to the main complex, because the experiment is as of now no longer active, I see no reason for my presence. (On a side note, I am sorry to hear of Jerry’s injury. Please send my regards to him and his family.) So For now, my doctors, I consider this matter closed.

---Dr. Fieldman

The orderly named Jerry has taken two weeks off because he had his arm broken by patient # 4782. His shifts will be covered by Jane S. and Glen F.

Internal memo from TAGSMS

To: Dr.Fieldman
From: Dr. Roberts
CC: Dr.Roberts, Dr.Woolright, Dr.Lantern.
Subject: Patient # 4782

Dr. Fieldman,
Patient 4782 has not shown signs of improvement since the implement of stage 2 medication. Outbusrts and violent spasms are still common. The orderlies have trouble restaining him durring mealtimes and the scheduled tests. The other patients in the vicinity of 4782's cell are becoming agitated and irritable. Relocation is recomended. I also recomend that you come to the main complex to oversee the adjustment in the current medication process. Be assured that changes ARE needed. Thank you for giving this situation your immediate attention.
--Dr. John Roberts